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- ..........Rex Deathstar is 2 years old
-
- yes, it's been 2 whole years since I came into the demo scene. I wouldn't have
- realised it if I din go thru my e:\death directory where I store all my demo
- related releases. I was pretty bored and decided to unzip all of those files
- and run them again. Seeing my first works and reading thru the info files
- that I wrote back then brings back nostalgic memories. I remembered how my
- first intros were written, all the hours spent on them, finding the best
- color combination, adjusting the tempo of the effects, searching high and low
- for music modules and asking everyone around me for help on MOD players.
- fiddling with mode-x and assembly, trying to find ways to ease the pain of
- 64kb segments, writing my own font editor (which I used to create only one
- font, ever, REX.FON), figuring why goldplay.obj can't seem to work with my
- borland C, using sourcer to disassemble goldplay.obj and printing all of
- the disassembled source so I could read and try to understand it. worried
- about people looking into my sources, i used EXE packers and encryptors on
- all my works just to realise later that it's not fool-proof afterall. learning
- to use a debugger and the hardware timer, DMA, VGA, sound blaster (GUS was
- still unheard of), writing a program entirely in assembler for the first time,
- downloading all the source codes that i encounter on all BBSs i tried out,
- grabbing all programming info files that i could find, going to bookshops to
- look for books that could somehow explain the lore of demo coding in plain
- english, digging out my old maths text books to revise 3d maths, drawing
- triangles and triangles in my notepad to teach myself the magic of perspective
- projection, seeking friendship with all the sysops i knew so they'd somehow
- help me get cool stuff on demos, running Unreal and Panic over and over
- (i still din know about 2nd Reality) again trying to figure how delay dots
- and plasmas are done...boy those were the days :) i'm not trying here to bore
- you with all these, but if you're experiencing any of the above, right now,
- then perhaps i've given you some consolation. if you have some unique
- experience that you'd like to share with me, you're most welcome to write to
- me.
-
- thru sheer obstinance, i said to myself one day i can do all the effects that
- i see in all the demos, and i wanna invent new effects even. one intro after
- another, one routine after another, one release after another, my coding
- foundation started to solidify. i've found endless joy and also endless
- frustration. i also realised one can never stop learning, and you have to
- believe that there're always better things than the ones that you believe
- is the best right now. humility is the key to it. each time i experience the
- euphoria of learning a new effect, i felt i was at the top of the world, it
- was hard not to get these feelings from blocking my good sense. fortunately
- i have a few good friends who always bring me down to earth when i start to
- float too high (without knowing). i also felt the joy of teaching and giving
- the person next to you who needs the knowledge, becoz i myself experienced
- it from those whom i learnt from, from those who selflessly gave away their
- knowledge for free, i can't thank you enough, and sadly to list all of them
- here would be impossible (much that i really would like to) becoz of my lousy
- memory.
-
- so after 2 yrs, i've found myself a direction, a clearer view of the
- situation, and many friends that share the same interests as i do. good things
- as well as bad things happened within these 2 short years, i relish the good
- things and i learnt from the bad things. i also realised how every single
- person tends to glorify his own efforts and diminishes others' effort.
- there're alot of flaws in the human species, whether he's european, american
- or asian. thru constantly trying to understanding others, constant evaluation
- of oneself's actions can he achieve harmony within himself and with the
- people around him. afterall, it's nobody's fault. trying to keep a happy mood
- all times has helped me alot thru these 2 years. armed with a better
- experience, i intend to go another 2 years in this 'culture' that has never
- ceased to amaze me.
-
-
- yours
- Rex Deathstar
- 30 Apr 1996
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